Is the Contender ready? Yeah!

THE NEXT AMERICAN GLADIATOR?

This weekend Darbi and I went up to Boulder, CO for the open casting call for contenders on the hit show (that beat the State of the Union Address last week in ratings) that is re-sweeping the nation: American Gladiators!

Since I've been working out so hard at the gym and never did get the chance to face off against world-class athletes in hockey, I thought I'd give it a shot at a show I remember enjoying as a child of 7 or 8. It was cheesy then, and it's a little less-cheesy now (albeit, Hulk Hogan is one of the hosts), but it still is entertaining and I'd like to at least try.

The line for the casting call formed at 8am, but already there were about 200+ people in line ahead of me who apparently broke the rules and formed a line at 5:45am. Suffice it to say, we were waiting for quite a while. The line worked its way around the Colorado University Student Union and down the hill outside, and when the doors opened we were wrapped up the stairs, around the track that overlooked the basketball court and back downstairs. I was in line for about 6 hours before I reached the front of the line and got the chance to compete.

It was basically set up in four stations: Chinups, Burpees, Karaoka, and Shuttles. These events were done in rapid succession, without breaks in between them.

Chinups: I had to do as many forehand grip chinups as possible in 30 seconds, which is what I was training for in the first place, so I did all right (except I'm fairly certain that the handles were bent from having the hurken-large guys pullingtheir 300Lb. frames up and down before me ;-) )



Burpees: Also known as "Up-Downs," these crowd favorites are a combination of a jumping jack on the top end, but you quickly go down into a push-up and back to starting position. I had to do as many as possible in 30 seconds also, and then directly into the Karaoka drill through an agility ladder


Karaoka: This is an agility drill which I became adept at during track in High School, so I knew what to expect here and according to the "proctor," my form was great

Shuttles: The trick here was to pace yourself. Many-a-contestant was gassed out after 4 or 5 of these bad boys because they sprinted too fast at the beginning and ended up walking towards the end. I, on the other hand, having done "suicides" in Lacrosse, was prepared for this event (despite the fact that I coughed up a lung afterwards...I'm a distance runner, remember?). However, because the cones were only 20 ft. apart from one another, there wasn't a chance to build up any speed, and watching the previous contestants use a longer stride in their running and failing, I adapted and took shorter steps which as you can see helped me to maintain a constant speed.



I then had an interview to see if my personality is televisable (is that word?). They asked me what skills I had that make me feel I could compete and I listed the fact that I was on the track toward professional hockey but because I had been called away from it for the ministry, I had never gotten the chance to prove myself against world-class athletes. Therefore, having made training my "hobby," I had the chance to prove my athletic prowess against the huge and burly men of American Gladiators.

The other question was particularly about why America would root for me. I explained my goal for the prize money is to fund my ministry dream of opening a retreat ranch for pastors and their families to come to and "recharge" before returning to their ministries. The selflessness of this goal intrigued the interviewer and he asked me probing questions regarding my faith background and I think I have a shot!


So, when it's all said and done, we had a great time. It was free (except for the fact that we were there for several hours for about 4 minutes of competition...which kicked my butt), and it may or may not pan out. Call backs are supposed to occur today, and if I get called up, I may go to an "American Gladiators Boot Camp" where the selectees from this tryout and several other metro areas across the nation will be weeded out and then from that pool, the contestants selected. So there are a few more steps before televised competition, but we're leaving our options open. We remain hopeful, but understand that for this season in our lives, Seminary is the #1 priority, and I wouldn't miss classes just to go on a television show.

So, in short, we'll see how things turn out, and if you're flipping through the channels in a year and see me in blue or red spandex going up against guys with stunning chiseled features and funny names, you'll know I made it, and that your suspicions of me being just a "nice, gentle guy" will be severely contrasted with my full-contact, no-holds-barred alter-ego who often coins the phrase, "Stay out of Harms' way!"